The sad ending at my first job (as a teacher) haunted me for months before I decided to give another shot to experimenting my interests and potential. For the next couple of months I continued working as an educator; not that I was one but the thought had a feel-good factor attached to it. I continued making blunders, some very serious and irrevocable ones; one of which was not really bothering to prepare my lessons.
I was teaching Economics to higher secondary but soon realized the subject that was my cup of tea during my school days was now responsible for my mental turmoil. I felt Economics wasn’t really easy to “teach”. I understood that doing well at a certain subject at school has got nothing to do with your potential to teach it. Besides, I also had to accept the harsh reality that I wasn’t really a brainiac and that reading those dull and grey business pages wasn’t meant for me. I just couldn’t swallow such a dreary work life.
Also, my mistakes in all their purest forms were revealed to me when I saw my students having a better grasp of the subject than myself. That was the moment that changed my life. It spoke to me the truths that I never wanted to hear or accept. I wasn’t working hard enough. I wasn’t preparing for my lessons well. All I thought was I could do it because my concepts were clear. Now I felt something was wrong. At least in my initial job ( as an English teacher) I was trying to teach. But now it was all over! I wasn’t enjoying my work at all and therefore I lacked the motivation to work hard. Economics was not the subject I wanted to teach. In only a few months, I was fired!
I was soon back to teaching English. This time I experimented with higher secondary English and to my wildest surprise I found it fun. For the first time I felt confident in my capabilities. I completely immersed in books and worked on finding easier and student-friendly ways of teaching. The results were fabulous. I continued teaching higher secondary levels for a couple of months more. I also taught my cousins at home. Providing home tuitions was like a crash course in learning how to teach.
Finally I fell in love with English language. Teaching started uplifting my moods; it improved the image I had in my mind of myself. I realized that teaching was my true calling. It was my first and my only true love! I learned that if I loved doing something, I’d surely excel in that. That was the point I started believing in myself. I knew I could make a difference. Today I’m a proud teacher of English language, working for more than seven years and I find nothing more beautiful and profound than being able to touch the hearts of so many students everyday!
Written By Shumila Malik